by Elise Sutton
So what is Female Domination?
The entire term seems to be a contradiction to our male dominated society. Female Domination (or FemDom as some refer to it) did not originate from dominant women or feminists. It was men who coined the phrase Female Domination to categorize their sexual and social desires to submit themselves to the female gender. So is Female Domination merely a sexual fantasy that some men harbor or is it a reflection of a societal evolution?
A little over twenty years ago, I was first introduced to the concept of Female Domination when I attended a meeting of a pansexual organization that dealt with Dominance and submission (D&S) within personal relationships. What was most telling about this group (that welcomed anyone who desired to be sexually dominant or submissive) was the majority of the members were submissive men in search of a dominant woman. There were self-proclaimed dominant women in attendance but the submissive men outnumbered them at least twenty to one. Since I was present at this group for the purpose of educating myself further in my studies of Human Sexuality, I interviewed some of the dominant women and submissive men in an informal manner. Being a rather outgoing and aggressive female myself, I found myself attracted to this world of Female Domination.
My curiosity in Female Domination has developed into twenty plus years of studying and practicing this alternative lifestyle. I have educated myself about the subjects of Female Domination and male submissive desires. Based on my years of study, observation and participation, I have learned that there are sexual and social reasons why men have submissive desires toward women. I have discovered that a person's core nature expresses itself in the sexual realm through different sexual desires. To the novice, a man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse is normal but a man who desires to be spanked or whipped by a woman is perverted. However, I have come to understand that both of these fore mentioned desires stem from the same core desire. That desire is to be sexually dominated by a woman. It is expressed differently but it is the same deep-rooted motivation. Not only that, but this deep-rooted nature can evolve and the man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse today may very well develop a desire to be spanked or whipped by a woman tomorrow.
From studying the practice of Female Domination, I learned about the core natures
of both men and women. As a woman who was raised in a so-called male dominant
traditional family, it was a revelation to me to discover the natural dominance
and supremacy of the female gender over the male gender. This revelation became
the key to unlocking and understanding all submissive desires within men. It
matters not how these desires are expressed through different fantasies. The
root and the core of these are all the same. Namely, the desire of the male
gender is to be dominated and ruled by the female gender. Therefore, no expression
of this submissive nature surprises me or shocks me. I have heard it all from
the males I have interviewed and counseled and I have seen it all through my
own participation in the Female Domination lifestyle.
Men desire corporal punishment (being spanked or whipped by a woman), forced feminization (being emasculated by a woman), humiliation, strap-on sex (being the receiver of a woman's rubber phallus), water sports (such as forced enemas or golden showers), and other D&S activities. Men want to worship the female by tending to her physical and sexual needs (body worship) and men want to be made into a domesticated servant to their wives. But the common thread to all these sexual and submissive desires is the longing for loving female authority. To me, that is the true definition of Female Domination. Female Domination is Loving Female Authority. That is what most men are seeking from the female gender. All of these specific fetishes or desires are the outward expressions of a man's need and hunger for loving female authority.
I have been able to help a number of males to come to terms with their desires and their natural submissive nature. Likewise, my knowledge of female domination and its social and sexual importance helps me to share with women why men have these desires and how exploring these desires with them in a safe and sane environment can develop a strong bond of intimacy between the female and the submissive male. I share with women how Domination and submission and more specifically, Female Domination, can be liberating for the woman. It can cause a power exchange within her marriage and that power exchange can be beneficial for both parties.
Before I began counseling with submissive men and before I embraced the female domination lifestyle, I was of the opinion that only a man with a low self-image or a man that was sexually dysfunctional would desire to be dominated in such extreme ways by a woman. However, after over twenty years of studying and practicing this lifestyle, I have discovered that these desires are very common within men. I have concluded that the number one sexual fantasy and desire among men is to be dominated by a woman. Furthermore, I now understand the dynamics about why men desire these things, where these desires originate from, and how they can fit within one's sexuality and personal relationships in a healthy way.
There is a natural born desire within men that causes them to desire to be dominated by a woman. I believe that males are born with this desire and I also believe that this desire is enhanced through a man's childhood experiences with his female authority figures. A male is carried in the womb of a woman, he is birthed into this world by a woman, he is nurtured at the breasts of a woman, he is disciplined by the loving hands of a woman, and he is loved and comforted by a woman. There is a special bond between a young boy and his mother or female guardian. Part of this is sexual. Most of the time, a young boy is bathed, caressed, nurtured and spanked by adult female authority figures and this stirs submissive desires within young boys. When they reach adolescence, a lot of boys begin to experiment with their sexuality, as they are curious and drawn to the female, her beauty and her mysterious ways.
There is usually a form of the desire to submit mixed in with the sexuality. A young boy grows accustomed to being bossed around and dominated by the adult female authority figures in his life. Then when he begins to enter puberty, his sexual fantasies often involve being the helpless sexual victim to one of his adult female authority figures like a teacher or a babysitter. I believe that is when B&D (Bondage and Domination) desires are birthed within men. Not all boys start out their sexual exploration with these types of fantasies but many boys do.
É It is a very natural thing for a man to desire to be punished and disciplined by a woman. His mind reverts back to his childhood when the women that he loved the most (namely his mother, aunt, or an older sister) would punish and discipline him. He knew that these women loved him because they punished and disciplined him. An adult male still longs for the feeling of his childhood where his mother or female guardian punished him but then afterwards the male child would be hugged and nurtured by the same woman who punished him. Punishment and love go hand and hand. That is what loving female authority is all about.
As men become adults in this society that expects men to be the dominant gender, most men try to suppress their desire to submit to women. Some are successful at this but many are not. Therefore, the profession of being a Dominant Female was born and it thrives in our current society. The Dominatrix has never been more in demand. One just needs to search the Internet to see the thousands of women who offer professional Female Domination. Supply is becoming plentiful because the Demand was always there.
From the Introduction to the book "Female Domination" by Elise Sutton. Female Domination is available from Ms Sutton's site at www.femalesuperiority.com
Cover art and design by Sardax